I saw a confession-based post the other day and thought it was so refreshing. There are little parts of our week that we do while no one is watching. We sort-of walk around with a low-grade guilt about these things, and one of the best ways to combat the self-deprivation is to just come out with it! So every Sunday (hopefully), I’ll be doing a “Sunday Confessional” to exercise the discipline of not having it together in front of people.
1. Everytime I go to the grocery store hungry I buy Cocoa Pebbles. Except they aren’t real Cocoa Pebbles, they are the “natural” version. So yes, I make myself feel a little more righteous in my poor health decisions by buying the organic, non-wheat version called “Crispy Cocoa Rice.” Because Cocoa and Rice are downright natural people.
2. I Insta-stalked my 12-year-old nephew and left comments for the girls who crush on him.
No really. I just love him so much and I want to see how his life is going, so I follow him on Instagram. And I saw this one post from a young girl and he was in the picture. She said she loved him. So I commented that she’d never love him as much as I do. She got upset, wondering who I was and started DMing me. And I realized after a few messages that I, a 28-year old adult, was choosing to try and reason my way out of middle school love with this person. Get it together Ash. So, yes, I got on the level of a 12 year old. I think my nephew feels violated, and I’m still deciding whether this was just a funny prank totally warranted by an aunt or if I should call him and apologize. Please feel free to give me aunt-tips. I’m now mortified about what kind of mom I may one day be.
3. I totally ate wheat this week.
Yep. And not even the “healthy whole wheat” kind (which isn’t actually healthy, but would be forgiveable). That’s right people; I ate a big, fat donut. Actually make that a big, fat, chain-based Dunkin’ donut. Not even a locally made one you guys! It’s so sad. All the Paleo-ers and Wheat-Free-ers have permission to berate me for being a faker.
4. I mixed really good whiskey with lemonade.
I know. Sick. Cole kept boasting about his really good whiskey to his man-friends. And he was gone one night and I was curious. But I can’t drink that stuff straight and I didn’t feel like waiting for ice cubes to melt and water it down.
Soooooo…. I opened the fridge to view my options.
Lemonade was the only non-water drink we had available. So I caved! And it was horrible, as you probably imagined. Cole was not happy.
5. I had an Endoscopy and was given sedation. I remember none of my post-procedure comments. However, apparently I’m a raging narcotic junkie:
(Yes, I’m super puffy. Yes, this is horribly unflattering. Yes, this is taken at an unforgivable angle for a woman. And yes, it’s worth every recorded second.)
So that wraps up this week’s confessional. YIKES you guys. Here’s to staying human.
*feature image credit: uk.thebar.com